I know there is some philosophical theory that suggests that even without the knowledge of pain to compare to pleasure we would still know that pleasure is better than pain. I disagree. I don’t think any sort of being with the capacity to learn can know that something is bad until they experience it themselves. Who knows, philosophy is a confusing subject for me, but I do know one thing: bad events make me appreciate the good events.
Study abroad is meant to be a good experience; it’s a chance to see the world, to go exploring, to, learn more about yourself. But the good always comes with the bad. Sometimes the bad is insignificant when presented next to the good. Other times it’s hard to remember the good during the bad. Studying abroad comes with a number of risks, and maybe they are worth taking. Some things are out of your control and over time you need to be able to reflect and understand what is beyond your control. Of you can’t do this it’ll be harder to move on.
This is all very vague and nice but let’s get to the point: some bad stuff has happened and my living situation has changed. On a scale of bad things that could have happened this ranked at maybe a five out of ten. Not something that should end your world right? There are things that could have brought me physical harm that I would rank much higher than this. It felt like a betrayal though and that is a difficult feeling to get over.
I decided to move, I thought it was best for my emotional stability if I removed myself from the environment. The new place is okay, I keep my head down, stay on campus more and get more work done. I think just today I genuinely smiled more than I had in the last week.
So this bad thing and the roller coaster it turned into help me remember the good things about home. Or even the good things about Galway. The bad things help me look forward to the good things like meeting my mom in London, Dana visiting in March, and visiting her in Italy shortly after in April. It’s easier to look forward to donuts on Saturday and sunny days in Galway when I know how bad things can get.
That’s why I disagree with that philosophy, I don’t think I really knew how good Philadelphia was until it was no longer my back drop. It’s not even the city, it’s the people in it, who you care about who make it wonderful.
I missed a protest at SJU because I’m in Galway. It’s not that big a deal that I missed it but it’s the vigorous attitude that Philly has that I truly miss. Fighting and caring for something you believe in, and not because it’s popular, but because it’s right. I need to remember this as I go forward. I need to remember to not shrink myself to fit into someone else’s box. Holding your own is more important than being liked.
“It’s better to be hated than loved for what you’re not.” – Marina and the Diamonds
A few other songs that have kept my spirit up: “Man Up” Book of Mormon, “Shake It Out” Florence and the Machine, “Sin Wagon” Dixie Chicks, “I Can Lift A Car” Walk the Moon, “Ode to Sleep” Twenty One Pilots, “Stadium Love” Metric.
P.s. congrats to me for getting 1,500+ views on this blog!!!!!